All subsequent posts (until further notice) on this blog are for Coming of Age 2023

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Breaking Cycles with Julia (Huzzah)

At some point or another, I think many of us have heard of "healing generational trauma." Breaking problematic/abusive behaviors, refusing to make some of the mistakes of the previous generation. I think Julia is a fantastic example of this. We see her diagnosing problems in her parents' marriage. She subtly calls out her dad on his pyrrhic victory during the renovation project, which is a nod to her deeper understanding of their communication faults. As Jason notes, Julia always seems to find the appropiate excuse to escape a family dinner right before the fight or tension. She understands the conflict is inevitable and has found ways to exist outside of it. I think one of the best ways she builds a distinct future for herself is in her romantic relationship. Her own relationship exhibits none of the problems in the marriage she grew up in. Her own boyfriend is "cool" and kind to Jason. When he meets her family, he's confident, friendly, and nothing like th...
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We Stan Phoebe (and Similar Siblings)

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I love Phoebe. Part of this is my bias from being very in my feels about my relationship with my older brother this week, but their relationship is iconic and THE moment. I think seeing this story makes you reflect on the potential power of having a sibling. It’s like a built-in friend. The social and emotional significance of having someone with the same family background and traumas, and then being able to grow up with that person is what saves Holden. In a world of condescending, misunderstanding, and jaded people, Holden finds respite in his siblings. He sees glimpses of the purity he’s seeking in nuns and martyrs in his life, but he returns to Phoebe because of the depth of understanding and relative permanence of family. I hesitate to feed into the “it’s your family” thread because it’s certainly not the case that you must love and trust your family. In Holden’s case, his parents have probably made him feel more isolated and traumatized more than they have ever helped. Yet even...
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Dead Assholes

The complexity of the story of Fun Home makes it relateable to many people who might not have the same experiences, but it also makes it extremely sad. Alison seems to be grasping at straws to understand her father better. It's true that people are complex and multifaceted and imperfect, and it's also true that she seems at least a little bit aware of her biases (e.g. calling herself out on lack of outrage with father's underage sexual relations). However, the entire structure of the book reveals her to be extremely lost. She tries to explain her father's death as a suicide in a convoluted attempt at connection. This example itself is sad to me, because it references a lifetime of neglect and apathy, yet the author meets it with hope and delusional trust. I see this with my close relationships as well. I think it's natural and loyal to try to have more grace and faith in those who matter to you even if some of their actions are surprising and questionable. That said...
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